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Hello and welcome to another episode of Y ‘all Are Crazy. We’re excited to be back with you this week. We are going to be talking about one of our favorite topics this week and that is having a large family.
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We have a pretty big one.
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We do. I’m so proud of us.
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Seven kids.
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So we have seven kids and we’ve had them in 12 years. So we are not Mormon.
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We are not Catholic and I have had I have birthed all these children in my body we have not had any twins and What else I? Don’t know They have all come about every two years So our first two are 15 months apart and then the rest have all come about every two years Their spans are 24 to 28 months something like that So we’ve had seven children We did not start that young we had our first baby at 25 We were both 25 when we had her and then we had our last at age 37 so Yeah, that’s just that’s a lot of babies at Within those 12 years whenever you say that it’s like whoa like is that even possible? Yep, it is so Last time I had our our seventh baby in the hospital. I remember my doctor saying she’s delivered
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five of our babies our first two we had at the hospital with midwives and the and then they left that hospital and so we went to a doctor and she was a very natural doctor and I’ve delivered five with her now and she told me the last time when we had our seventh baby that I was in the lead for the most baby she has ever delivered that’s a good thing to win I’ll take that as a compliment yeah when you get you a trophy I need it I feel like I would own that I would take that so yeah the amazing one of the amazing things is like I have had all of our babies naturally normally and just no complications which is such a blessing yeah that’s a definitely a blessing from God for that absolutely no c -sections no emergencies no just we’ve been blessed with good healthy
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Births absolutely our babies. We’ve got one girl and six boys. So seven total and Yeah, that’s kind of crazy When we first got married did we set out to have a large family we get asked that a lot, right?
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and I think I Remember us talking a lot about having four.
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Yes, like four was we were like that would be really cool If we had four which once again he came from a two -person or so two child household And I came from a two -child household. He had one sister. I had one brother. So we were like, hey, that’d be double of what we Were raised with you know, we thought that sounded fun to have a large family Which at that time we considered four to be a large family and it still is right But you don’t meet a lot of people who have as many as we do.
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No, not very many at all So it’s a very small club.
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Yeah For us and people ask first of all, we always get asked almost every single day. Are you done?
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Every and and if people aren’t asking us like we’re talking about it true. We talk about it a lot and then You know we get asked that a lot and then we also get asked like, you know, how do you do it? How do you have so many kids because first of all we own that we are weird it’s one reason we named our ranch y ‘all are crazy and We we love it not to say that we always love the chaos of a loud house and the craziness But I think we’ve just learned to embrace it Yeah, cuz there’s definitely times when it is super loud and if y ‘all came to our house Yeah, you know around suppertime a lot.
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It’s like you can’t even hear yourself think sometimes It’s so loud, you know and then our the kids will be like competing with each other trying to be louder so that they can be heard and Then the babies are screaming and crying because they want attention too.
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Yeah, you know, yeah, I mean we have six
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And so a lot of our household is like wrestling each other Just you know getting down and dirty like boys do and not to say our daughter Can’t hold her own because she can oh yeah She can and she does and she you know she’s in seventh grade this year And what’s so funny is she is now arm wrestling boys at lunch and beating them Yeah, she said that she arm wrestled a boy, and then he wanted to rematch.
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You know the next day She’s like I don’t know why he wants a rematch. I’m just gonna beat him again And she came home after that she’s like yep, I beat him again or like you were so tough You can tell you have six brothers.
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Yeah, I like to tease her that when she gets dating age A boy is gonna have to get through her dad and her six brothers so bless his heart Yeah, I actually feel sorry for the man, but he’s gonna have to be a strong strong kid very much Yes, so that’s gonna be very interesting. Yes, so Yeah, we get asked a lot like why did you decide to
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so many kids. And for us, like we said, we did not set out honestly to have a huge family. We knew we wanted a bigger family. So we obviously had four back to back really quickly. But after we had our four, I think neither one of us felt done. Right. I think we just felt like, are we not? But we just didn’t feel peace about it. And so, and we haven’t, we have never felt completion, I think is the best way to say it. And obviously when you look at your children that you have, you’re never going to think, well, I wish I would have stopped there. Like that’s just not ever how it works.
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I wish I didn’t have that one.
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Yeah. I look at our fifth, sixth, and seventh sons and it’s like, although sometimes I kind of, I know, I’m just kidding. I would never do that. When I look at our fifth, sixth and seventh, it’s like, seventh, it’s like.
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I can’t imagine life without them.
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Yeah, you see them and you know, they’re in your life now and you’re like, it’s hard to remember life without them. You know, and it’s like, man, if we would have stopped, we wouldn’t have had, you know, Barlow, then we wouldn’t have had Branch and we wouldn’t have had Baxter. And it’s like, you can’t imagine life without those little dudes now, you know?
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It’s amazing to think about.
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And then it makes you think about, well, you know, what could the next child be like if they’re, you know.
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If.
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If.
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So that’s another question we get asked a lot is, are you guys done? And the question is, we don’t know. We’re both 38 and we are just basically praying for a peace from God to know whether our family’s complete or whether we just need to trust him. We feel very convicted, I will say, about letting God dictate the number of children we have and our Oklahoma Grassfed Beef. That’s just a personal conviction we have. We do not think it’s for everybody.
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We think that God gives each family wisdom and guidance to choose what’s best for them. For us, we feel like a conviction of ours is God choosing the number of children we have. Right.
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Yeah, for sure.
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So some Bible verses that we love and always go back to are, first of all, from Genesis, when God told Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multiply.
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Right. We take that literally.
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Yes, we have done that, we feel like.
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Yes.
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We also, go ahead.
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I just feel like as Christians, you know, I mean, I feel like that’s an important thing to do, is to be fruitful and multiply and then disciple your children and raise good, I mean, the best you can, Christ followers, like that’s the goal, you know?
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And that’s not an easy thing to do. Mm -hmm, but we we both feel very passionate about that And that that’s a calling on our life to do the best that we can.
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Yes in that, you know, absolutely One thing that I have really been Fixated on lately is I feel like the Lord has just laid it on my heart and mind that just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s bad and You know being pregnant is not easy, especially as you get a little bit older, it’s not easy symptoms of pregnancy are Exaggerated as you’ve had gone through a few Having a newborn giving birth Breastfeeding Having toddler having two in diapers. None of these things are easy. None of them However, when did we have when did we come up with the mindset that
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Hard equals bad. Mm -hmm When and I know as hump as humans we seek comfort naturally None of us want to go through hard times. I don’t want to go through hard times I want to protect myself from that. I want things to be easy and peaceful, right?
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I mean everybody wants that However, when you read the Bible, I think we can we can read and know that God never promised us an easy life No, and I don’t think he calls us to just take care of ourselves and you know live a self -centered life and Try to make it as easy as possible. I mean, I don’t see that anywhere in the word, you know, yeah and And I think a lot of folks want that they want the comfort and they want the ease and you know Whether they have no children or one or two and you know The kids are raised and gone by their mid -40s so they can have the rest of the lives to themselves. Maybe that’s their goal That’s fine. And like you said earlier, everybody’s got different convictions, but we just feel
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Like man, there’s nothing more fulfilling than bringing life into the world and then raising them and the moments as parents that you get to have with your children. I mean, those are to me what life is all about.
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Yeah, I think we’ve really, I would say lately been obsessed with legacy. I think we have been obsessed with making sure we are creating a life for our family that outlasts us in that we are raising our children to also raise godly children who will also raise godly children and having the kind of marriage that our children can look up to and just living our lives for more than ourselves. We have been obsessed with that. And I think you honestly have to be if you want to be intentional with the way you live your life.
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Yeah, and sometimes for me, when I stop and think about that, it’s a scary, I don’t know, sometimes.
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uneasy feeling, like that’s a big thing to tackle is, you know, will we do as good a job as parents as we can to raise our kids, you know, to then be good Christ followers and raise their kids. And men, you just always for me just always hope that I’m doing a good enough job. But I think that’s why, you know, we have to continue to grow in our faith set aside time to read our Bibles every morning before our day starts. We both do that and, you know, keep asking God for for wisdom and how to do it with our kids. You know what I mean?
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Well, the Bible says train up a child in the way they should go. And when they’re old, they will not depart from it. We take that very seriously and we believe that that is a promise of the Lord. And doesn’t mean our children aren’t going to make mistakes and.
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Um, obviously we don’t know how they’re going to turn out, but we are doing our best and we’re trusting the Lord with the outcome.
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It talks about that children are a blessing and like arrows in a man’s quiver and blessed is the man whose quiver is full, you know, and when I read that, it’s like, man, we have seven right now and it’s like our quiver is full and it’s, it’s a blessing and we think about what will it be like to have grandkids?
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We talk about that a lot and what’s funny is I feel like we are, we’re weird once again, but we’re very fixated on like what we’re, what are we doing now that it’s going to, what’s our future going to be like? We think about these things a lot, but I know you’ve talked to men who have grandchildren or, you know, maybe we’ll have soon and it’s like, they haven’t even thought about what that’s going to be like yet.
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Right.
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We think about that a lot.
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Yeah, yeah. May I ask him questions about what they’re looking forward to or.
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You know, um, what what do they think it’s gonna be like and you know, some of them are like man I I hadn’t even thought about it, you know, it’s like well, you know, I think that’s an important thing to think about you know because we want to be be ready and You know for us we want to really enjoy being and we might I mean who knows we might be The ones that have we’re still raising kids and having grandkids at the same time You know and that brings up a point we I’m not gonna tell you that having a lot of kids comes without Objections because you are going to get a lot if you choose to pursue having a large family Yeah, so people a lot of times will tell us things like that of like why would you want to still be raising kids? When you have grandkids
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And we hear that for us. I mean, we think that’s gonna be fun. Honestly. Oh, yeah Blessing we don’t have a problem with that We see being parents is one of the biggest blessings in life And if we can have and we’re probably will have grandkids, but and then we’ll still have kids in school But like what a fun time and what a better use of our time Then pouring into our next generation Yeah, and I think we get a lot of fulfillment from that we don’t need what the world offers in terms of Fulfillment that’s really actually empty. You know, we I mean some of our greatest memories and joys are Going on family vacations with our kids every summer just getting those Those quality that quality time and all these memories we’re making like we love it. We We have taken a few vacations on our own over the years
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But not really, not much. It’s normally with all of our kids or with a few of our kids. We have gone on some trips in the last few years with your company that limit the number we can take due to room occupancy. So we have had to choose two or three kids to bring. And some people are like, why would you do that? But honestly, it’s been amazing because we get to spend quality time with a few Pour into them, spend that great time and how fun is that? And then something else that has allowed us to make great memories with our kids and that we look forward to, we love is their sports. We love going to football games and watching our boys play and watching our daughter cheer and going to wrestling tournaments for a full day and like, we love it. It is so fun for us.
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It’s fun. And we’ve talked about that, I think, on a prior episode, but, you know, we try to do Oklahoma Grassfed Beef sports where they’re all in the same thing at the same time, because obviously with seven kids, you can’t be, you know, you can’t have them all in different things. So yeah, that takes a lot of parenting from us to have like, you know, this is wrestling season, we’re all wrestling, you know, it’s football season, we’re all playing football, it’s not like, you know, one’s gonna go here and there and everywhere, because we couldn’t do we couldn’t do that.
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So you do have to do different things with a large family. You have to it has to work for the family.
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Yeah. And sometimes we get invited for things for those sports teams that they want to go on a one off tournament or a one off whatever. And we just have to say no, I mean, we just can’t. Yeah. So it does cause you to have to live life different.
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You definitely do. And you’re always going to have a sport or an activity, I think that maybe a couple of your kids excel in more than others. But I just think that when you’re doing something as a family and everybody gets
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to do it they get to cheer each other on which is so fun and sometimes we’ll have our kids like do I have to go watch this game it’s like yes because your brother cheers you on every Saturday yeah right now we have two in tackle football and two in flag they’re gonna be there to cheer their siblings on well and it’s a lot of our memories as a family when we talk with the kids and stuff is you know hey you remember when you know hey do you remember that do you remember this game or that that match and you know they’ll talk about each other too about how they overcame and they were watching you wrestle and you were getting beat and then you came back and won and it’s just it’s neat to be creating all those memories you know yes and it’s fun I mean having a big family definitely like logistically can be a challenge as far as traveling goes hotel rooms getting places it can be a challenge there’s no doubt you just got to have a big blue van you got
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You gotta have a way to haul everybody.
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Oh, the big blue van, the 15 passenger, that’s what you gotta have. And, you know, no, it’s not the coolest vehicle you could be rolling down the road in. But for me, like, when I’m driving that thing and all my kids are in the back, it’s like, I’m proud of that. You know, I’m not proud of the vehicle itself, but the fact that we have a family large enough that I gotta drive one of those things.
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We got to.
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It’s like, you know, some people would look at that as an inconvenience or whatever, but like, I think God’s blessed us with that family and it’s a blessing that we have to drive a vehicle like that.
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You know? And that’s the way I look at it. And we do.
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Yeah.
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So, like we said, having a big family for us is just super fulfilling. We feel like it’s the best use of our time and we feel like by discipling the next generation, it’s our way of honoring God and using what he gave us to the best of our abilities.
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You know, I think one point that just came to my mind is like people will ask us sometimes, how do you do it all with all these Oklahoma Grassfed Beef and kids and if I were to give them like a snapshot of an average day during the week and how we spend our time, it looks like wake up early in the morning and get a workout in.
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Come home.
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You do that.
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Yeah, but you get to work out in the mornings, too You just don’t wake up as early as I do I wake up with the kids But but I think people fill their days with stuff with a lot of waste And so for us, it’s like work out in the morning You know, we both read read the bible for a period of time Then we get ready and we go to work. We work throughout the day. We come home. It’s with the kids We’re usually getting ready and going to an activity or having supper first one of the two You know, and then we go to the activity Um, then we come home and everybody’s got shower and bath time, you know, and then we um Then we we read the bible together as a family and discuss
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I read like five proverbs a night on average usually and then I let them kind of talk about what they heard out of the message And then we might I might read a little bit of a book. Maybe if I’m not too tired You’ll stay up with Baxter and get him ready for bed and feed him watch a show or read a book and then go To bed.
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I mean that’s kind of the the daily almost every day what it looks like So which I think is important for kids because I think kids need a routine and a rhythm to make them feel secure And so for us like they know what to expect. There’s no guessing They know what each day the rhythm is going to look like, right?
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Yeah, so I don’t know maybe that helps somebody out there of like what does the daily cadence look like? I mean, there’s not any I mean for me anyway, there’s no TV in that day. There’s there’s no what I would consider just Complete waste of time stuff.
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Yeah, I think something big for us too that we haven’t really talked about yet It’s like the importance of reading For yourselves as adults and as as for your chill and for your children. So we both love reading Different genres you are strictly Nonfiction Oklahoma Grassfed Beef. Yeah in your reading. I tried to do fiction earlier this year and I just well you also chose a really hard book You tried to read The Hobbit.
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Yeah, you know, and I still have a goal to kind of finish it But what did I read? I don’t know a hundred pages and I just kind of I Haven’t got back to it. But it’s it’s a challenge for me. You love nonfiction books where you can learn things Yes, I like to be learning while I’m reading I like to have a pen or highlighter in one hand and I’m
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Underlining and make a little notes in the margins and I like to be actively reading not Mine, I don’t know. I’m not mentally checked out and some people like to do that. I think you like to do it sometimes I like both you like both.
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I really like nonfiction. I like highlighting and learning especially if it’s something that I just Want to learn more about obviously, but I also really love fiction books. I love World War two books My favorite genre, which this is super specific is Christian Historical fiction, yeah, so if I can get it you’ve definitely turned into it a little bit of a nerd in your I tell him I’m like I read about I read about the dust bowl Which I learn I don’t you don’t know a lot about these things and then you read a book even if it’s fiction It’s based on truth. Yeah, and I’ve learned so much about the Holocaust. Yeah The lot of 1940s books which I I can devour I love them, but I think it’s cool
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our kids see us reading and that makes them want to read and so what’s really neat I told him the other day I was reading a book outside I sat outside or lay outside on the tanning chair and and tan and read a book often and I had like three of our boys around us and they all had their books they will do what they see us doing right another thing that I’ve started having our boys do our daughter and our first son just naturally read their Bible really well the others not as much so I started making them read a devotional every night before bed and maybe they want to read their fiction book and that’s fine however I want them to read their devotional first so trying to make that become a habit right but we do if you can tell like
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lot of things as a family unit, you know, and that that is our life. And so whatever we’re doing, whether that’s eating supper or going somewhere to a game or an event or a practice or sitting down and reading, it’s usually done together.
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Some things we’ve really enjoyed doing lately too as a family is we’ve enjoyed playing pickleball. Yeah, that’s been really fun for us. So a lot of times if we don’t have something in the evening, we go up to the tennis courts because we don’t have pickleball courts and play pickleball and it works.
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Yeah, people haven’t used those courts in years.
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We just use them for our pickleball. You can buy a pickleball set on Amazon, super cheap. And we like it because our whole family can play now. Obviously there’s different skill levels, but we can all play and have fun. Yeah. We played kickball last weekend in our backyard, a little intense. We’re a very competitive family, so things do get intense.
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But when you have a large family is another benefit. You can play your own games, right? Like we created a Oklahoma Grassfed Beef kickball game out of our own family. You can’t do that if you only have like one kid.
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That’s true. It’s not very fun.
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You know, I mean.
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Yeah. We broke up into teams.
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Yeah.
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It was great.
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You know, we go to Shangri -La Resort sometimes on Grand Lake and they’ve got like a pickleball court, a little baseball, miniature baseball field. It’s turf and stuff and we’ll be out there if nobody’s out there and we’ll get our own game going. And some people will come up and see us Oklahoma Grassfed Beef play it. And they’re like, this is all your guys’ kids.
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We can play our own wiffle ball game just with our family.
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We get to say it. We get asked that question all the time. Are these all yours?
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I had somebody this week tell me, I can’t believe you have seven kids. You look like your hair’s washed. You have makeup on. You actually like look put together.
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And you work what right like how do you do that and for me?
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I’m like why would I not like put makeup on and make myself look and feel good like yeah, I want that I think another point that just came to my mind is like I Think society wants us to only have one or two kids at best I think you go past that then you’re entering into the crazy zone And you’re now you’re having a bunch of if you have three You know then you have four people are like what they’re like, you know, what causes that right?
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It’s like time.
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Oh if I had a and if not what then why why would you why would you you know? And here’s what I would say. I mean, I think when we went from What was what do we think is harder from one to two kids or two to three?
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Yeah, I thought that one to two was all harder.
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Yeah, and I think I would agree going from two to three You’re obviously outnumbered but just go getting used to the second was a big I don’t know a bigger hurdle in our opinion. Yeah, but I would say this is like as you continue to have
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It’s like God gives you the ability to continue to handle them Handle them the wrong word, but like it’s not I don’t think it’s as hard as what people imagine in their mind that it is You’re you’re growing in it little by little, you know, I tell people often is I didn’t just have seven kids at once Yeah, if we would have just gotten seven like out they gave that would have been very difficult We’ve had one at a time and so honestly we’ve grown a lot as a person I’m a I’m a much better woman today than I was at you know 22 when we got married because my kids have made me better right they’ve made me more patient They’ve made me more understanding like probably less selfish All the things because as a mom you have to learn to be unselfish and to take care of others To do things that you don’t necessarily want to do it just makes you better
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That’s a good point is, I think that’s another valid point is if you care about being a good parent and raising your kids well, having a bunch of kids will make you a better parent because you feel that responsibility and you don’t wanna fail at it, you know? And it makes you better, it makes you work harder, it makes you achieve goals, it just, I think it all goes together, you know?
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It does, I think so too. We wouldn’t trade it for the world. We love having a big family. Like you said, another Bible verse that we go back to is like, children are a heritage of the Lord. They’re a reward.
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The fruit of the womb is a reward. So we don’t look as kid our kids as a burden We look at them as a blessing.
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Yeah every once in a while when Somebody sees us with our kids or we tell them we have seven kids. Will they say man? What a blessing sometimes and I love hearing that Yeah, and it’s like but I mean that’s like I don’t know one out of a hundred will say that like it’s not Most of them act like it’s a burden, you know, and it’s like man you guys if you guys could only see the bigger picture It’s like don’t look at your children as a burden. They’re not a burden, you know, even though sometimes they get on your nerves That’s for sure, but they’re not a burden there. It’s a it’s a blessing and You know God created life and for for him to allow you to create life, you know and and disciple those kids It’s like man What a me what what more could you want out of life, you know?
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That’s how we say I feel we see it that way. Like I said, that is our conviction We feel like God’s just given us the ability and the desire to have a large family and he’s blessed us with the with the With the means to do that Yeah, somebody asked me what that man?
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Seven kids and all that is like that’s got to be expensive. Like how do you do it? And I was like you just got to make more money Right. I mean that is true, too you know, and they just kind of looked at me and I’m like I also think kids aren’t as expensive as people make them out to be because hello hand -me -downs But we hand me down we hand me down as much as we can with boys They do miss things Oh hand me down and just make things last past the point of like Baker’s football cleat the other day The whole toe was torn off like I think they’ve already been passed down from Bowen to Baker so okay, lots of you like the bottom of the cleat was totally separated from the actual shoe like
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Mean like three inches. Yeah, just I mean under the ball of his foot. Yeah, and you know, I bought some $4 shoe goo on Amazon and Duck tape and glued that thing and 48 hours later.
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It was solid as a rock and you keep keep using them Yeah, we try to make things last we I can stretch a meal a long way I know a lot of times you’ll come in and you’re like we have nothing and I’m like, what are you talking about? You can make a whole meal out of this.
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Yeah, it’s like you’ve gotten really good at that I’ll open the fridge and be like we ain’t got nothing to close it next thing I know you got like a five course meal created.
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I don’t even know where it all came from this come from Yeah, so, you know, I feel like God supplies whenever you give him your best. He is going to supply to you And doing activities that you don’t have it doesn’t cost a lot of money Like we go up to the tennis courts and play pickleball, right? It’s free it is and on sad usually Saturday night sometimes Friday nights we do family movie night, right
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Maybe we find something free. Maybe we rent a movie for $3 and we have popcorn and we watch movie night. That’s just like our kids love it. We get to spend time together. None of these things are expensive. They’re just, now some things can be right now.
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The groceries.
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Groceries are expensive. They are. I mean, right now, yeah, every week.
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Yeah, every week was what?
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About four to $500 a week.
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Yeah, yeah, so.
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For groceries. And then we eat out a couple of times during the week. Yeah. So yeah, it can be expensive for sure, but balance it out. Like, it’s worth it. Oh yeah, it’s worth it.
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And you don’t spend money on other frivolous stuff that doesn’t matter, like car payments and other other things. And you know, it’s not a big deal to have a high grocery bill. You just kind of move the teeter -totter over the other direction.
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That’s right.
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You know, so.
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And I’ll say as a mom, I think a lot of women are so afraid of like, if I have a large family, I’m not gonna be able to do what I wanna do. And so like my response.
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to that is well maybe what you wanted to do isn’t all that important and secondly like if if it’s God’s purpose for your life you’re gonna be able to do both I would argue that like us having a big family me having seven children has made me better it’s made me have more what’s the word I’m looking for like I can speak to other women who either long for a large family or have one and say you can do this too and he’s just he’s allowed my platform to grow as I’ve been obedient to him and he will always give you more than he can then you can handle they say you know people always will often say God will never give you more than you can handle well yes he will right he’ll always give you you can handle because he is going to sustain you he’s going to uplift you encourage you and give you
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you the strength right so that’s what we’re here for yeah I think that’s good yeah so we hope this encourages you whether you have one child or seven children or more go have a bunch of them we just we want you to be encouraged and realize that children are a blessing not a burden and be fruitful and multiply yes the world needs more of what you have