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Welcome back to another episode of the Y ‘all Are Crazy Ranch podcast. Today, we’re going to be talking about a book that I wrote in 2020 called Overrated.
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Overrated.
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A Christian woman’s guide to living authentically in a perfection driven world. We’re going to start off with a scripture that I put in here from 1st Colossians 3 17. Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him.
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powerful. So I, it’s kind of weird. Like I wrote this book six years ago. Obviously, a lot of life has happened since then. A lot of life, goodness, a lot of things have transpired since 2020. But what’s amazing is I read this and I remember writing these things. But I’m like, God wrote through me in this book, because the things I wrote, like it’s just Holy Spirit driven. And hopefully it’s helped a lot of women who have read this book.
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Yeah, you had one the other day reach out to you said that it helped her.
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So yeah, I kind of wanted to start with that. I’ve had this book on the market for six years. It’s on Amazon. I sell it at all my events that I speak at overrated. I think it’s great because it can relate to specifically women. Obviously men can read it too, but I think it speaks to women where they are. A Christian woman’s guide to living authentically in a perfection driven world. Who doesn’t relate to that?
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We all can relate to that so I start so so yes I had a friend buy this at one of my recent events and she must have read it really quickly Because she sent me an email shortly after and I mean she has my phone number but I think she just wanted to like list out everything she learned in long format and An email was the best place to do that and I just I really appreciated it and I showed it to you She took the time to tell me everything she had learned and she’s like I learned this and this and it gives me these Things to work on and it made me not feel alone because other you know another woman went through this and it was good It was really revitalizing to me to see that books can help people and our words and experiences can help others so I started this off with a
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If you played sports in high school, you might remember this chant. It goes like this. Overrated.
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Do you remember this?
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Oh yeah. Okay, so basically when this was done to you or you did it to another team, you were trying to cut their confidence down. So basically, say you were playing a team that was ranked number one, but you’re like, they’re only ranked that because they play teams that aren’t that good and they get this rating that’s inflated, but it’s not accurate, okay? And the reason you do this, you chant this to another team is because you want to deflate their confidence. You know?
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You gotta hurt their feelings.
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Right, and you want them to go into the game feeling defeated so they’re not on their best game. Okay, it’s kind of fun when you do it to another team. Not so fun when it’s done to you.
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Yeah, if you’re ranked number one and you’re losing and they start chanting overrated.
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It’s like are we overrated like is that true? Maybe we are and it makes you not play to the best of your ability I love sports analogies and sports movies like What do you call? What do you call those like sports not monologues montage when they go from like, you know Like Rocky when he’s training and it’s like he’s doing the sit -ups and he’s like punching the meat Like that’s a montage. I think is what that’s called. I love those like fires fire fires me up So anytime I can talk about sports like that, it’s it’s just appropriate So that’s that’s where this book starts and and I put we get into our head that we know things to be true That we feel a certain way about who we are who our kids are what our Oklahoma Grassfed Beef businesses should do only to find out Is it overrated? The goal of this book is to show you that all things the world views as needed desired normal Most of these things are just overrated and not true
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If we look at what God’s word says is truth, we can determine what is false. When we realize that most of the things that we see as necessary, these things don’t really matter. We can move past anxiety, past mediocrity, past doubt, and we can move into the life God has planned for us all along. So that’s just introduction to that book. That was my heart behind it. Yeah, I wrote this book during a time and I put this at the end of this preface for my precious son Baker because normal is overrated. Man, that kind of makes me cry because I think back to this time. And when I wrote this was right when Baker was in preschool at this private school we were going to at the time. He was literally three years old.
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Oh yeah.
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And his teacher told me, imagine this, a teacher tells you, your son is not normal. And you know, basically he is, you know, he’s causing these problems, he’s doing this, he’s not listening, he’s not normal. Okay, that, first of all, you should never tell a parent that because it will, the mama bear comes out, okay?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And it did. And come to find out, the reason he wasn’t listening is because he needed tubes in his ears.
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Right.
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And he literally was not hearing.
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And we had done, he had had the hearing test done. I think at the school maybe, I don’t know, but he had had hearing test done.
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Our doctor looked in his ears at well at checkups and stuff like that and it was never caught Yeah, so we had a hearing test done, you know later and they’re like well he he hears like he’s hearing underwater Yeah, well as a parent that makes you feel terrible cuz you’re like, oh my gosh, like we should have known this But of course we didn’t we’ve never been through it and he’s lived three years of his life Underwater. Yeah, so like I think he had a lot of frustration because he didn’t hear well And so we got tubes put in when he was three and I remember he got that done, which is a pretty simple procedure Oh, yeah you took him to get that done and I remember we went for a walk like that evening or the next day and We we had goats on our property and we were walking and the goats were just bang like they always do
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And he was like, pretty good one.
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Thank you. I love goats. So they’re just doing the thing, you know? And he said, you hear that mama? Do you remember that?
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Oh yeah.
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And I was like, the goat, the goat, like we hear that every night. He hadn’t, he had never, cause it was like a distant sound.
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Yeah.
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He had never heard that before. Well, that’s heartbreaking.
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Yeah. That made me feel like terrible. Cause you can hear that plain as day. We’ve all heard it. We walked that path almost every night and he had heard it for the first time.
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Yeah. So that was, yeah, that was, that was, that was sad, but we got him taken care of. Yeah. But I think back to that teacher telling me that, and oh, it just fired me up.
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Yeah.
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Because I was just like, you know what? That’s not right. You should not do that, especially to a three year old. And it made me like, you know what? What does, what does normal even mean? And that was the, that was the,
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mindset behind this book of like what is normal anyway because we don’t want to be normal I think God calls us to be different to be different from the world because he’s called us to be the light of the world and the light is different from the darkness so that that was my fuel behind this book and that’s why I wrote that to Baker and you know now it’s in here forever yeah I remember when he won state runner -up in wrestling last year we are so proud of him I mean to be a state runner -up in wrestling it’s just a huge feat yeah in Oklahoma you know we are a wrestling state and in his first year in the open division yeah and I just remember thinking about that teacher I won’t say her name but I know her name but I remember thinking I wish you could see him right now yeah cuz maybe he’s not normal
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Yeah, but normal is overrated and just look at him. Look at him now. Thank you for not believing in him because, you know, we’re gonna prove you wrong.
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In your face, jerk. Right, so that was, oh, so yeah, still kind of fires me up. I remember his physical therapist, wherever you called her, Julie.
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We loved Miss Julie. She was our occupational therapist.
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Occupational therapist, but she was like, fully, she’s like, I promise you, I’m gonna work with him for a little while. As he ages another year or so, you’ll… It makes me cry to think about it. You’ll never even know.
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She told me, Ashley, by the time he’s in first grade, you’re not gonna know anything was ever wrong. Yeah, yeah. Okay? And I remember thinking, oh my gosh.
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And there was nothing mentally wrong. It was just like, something is a little bit off. Well, we come to find out through our occupational therapist that he had sensory processing. I’m not gonna call it disorder because he was never diagnosed with that. Just as a mom from reading, like I think that’s what he had. So the OT showed us ways to help him. We had to do like, I would squeeze his arms and his legs before he went into public or into school. And he still likes what’s called deep pressure, which is what makes him such a stinking great athlete. Cause he likes being in tight spaces. He likes being squeezed.
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As a wrestler like you can’t get any better than that, you know I get mad at him a lot and wrestling not mad at him but when he’s he gets himself in these terrible predicaments in a wrestling match where the kids just got him rolled up and then Baker Inevitably gets out of it and goes and get any wins, but he doesn’t need to even get in those situations But sometimes I feel like he just likes it.
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Well, that’s what we call him bake the snake He just likes he wiggles out.
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Oh, yeah The guy thinks he’s got him and I know better because I know my son and I’m like, oh you don’t know like he’s just He’s letting you feel like you’re gonna win because he kind of likes to feel that somebody squeezing on him pressure
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I was like, but he’s gonna turn right around and wiggle out and put you on your back, and he does it most of the time.
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And I still notice sometimes, like he’ll sit by me, and he’ll like squeeze my shoulder. And he used to do that a lot when he was like three, four, five. It was like he craved it so he would do it to you, and he still does it sometimes, but definitely not as much. But I remember when he got in first grade, and I told his teacher at that time, maybe halfway through the year, I was like, Ms. German, in case you don’t know, Baker has had sensory processing disorder in the past. And she said, Ashley, I would have never known that if you wouldn’t have told me. And that was just a miracle in itself because Julie, our OT, had told me that years ago. By the time he’s in first grade, you’ll never know it. And I’ve told Julie since then, like you were right. Thank you for believing in us.
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You know, that teacher he had, that was me, and she was freaking lazy.
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and not nice and it’s like we’re paying you a ton of money here at a private school to teach our kids and she put like no effort into anything like that and what we’ve learned is some people like kids to just be the same and like be robotic and just easy and it’s like they’re not all like that oh yeah so oh sorry you might need to work a little harder you know but gosh he’s had been forbid you got to work a little put a little more effort in well and he’s had fantastic teachers in the past you know miss Proctor was his pre -k teacher and just fantastic and she’s and she loved him and she still loves him and she comes to watch his wrestling tournaments and his football games and baby sets for us and she got him and she worked with him and she tried and like so there have been great teachers that have been instrumental since that time
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So that’s now you guys kind of know my heart for why I wrote this book is I deep -dived into what’s normal And why do we why do we want to be normal? Like what is the point of this? Because I don’t think God called us to be normal.
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Okay, so I’m just gonna hit some high points of this book that I That stood out to me that I just want to hit with you guys because I think they’re important. So This one is a chapter that I wrote about busy -ness not Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business busy -ness And it says women who say yes to God will see life like few others. That’s Lisa turkhurst Obviously this applies to men, too So when you see when you when you say yes to God, you will see life like few others do
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That’s powerful.
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It is powerful because it changes. Everything. How you see everything. How you react to everything or respond to things.
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Literally everything. Yeah, when you have eternity in mind, you’re going to do things differently. I’ve told you lately, I’m so like fired up for Jesus right now and getting others to heaven that it just changes the way you live. It changes the way you think. It changes the way you do things. I used to be nervous when I spoke at things to do altar calls. I guess growing up, I just always felt like the way I lived my life should make other people want to follow the Lord. And I do think it can. I teach my kids at fish club every week. You will be the only Bible some people ever read.
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And I explained that to them of the way you live is going to show people whether they want to follow the Lord or not. Okay, I think that’s true. But I also believe people do need an extra push to say, are you ready to commit your life to the Lord? And let’s do that right now. And so when I feel God telling me you need to do an altar call, I know that’s an old word. I grew up in the Pentecostal church, okay? We did altar calls every Sunday. But it’s the same thing. You are asking people, do you want to give your life to the Lord today? And I’m gonna do that. I’m gonna pray that salvation prayer with you. I’ve just learned that when God asked me to do something, I just better say yes. Because if I don’t, he’s going to not let me forget it until I say yes anyway.
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Very true, very true.
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That’s why they call God like the hound of heaven. If you guys have heard that.
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because he won’t let you forget things. He will make it happen anyway with or without you. God does not need us. We need him. So if you want to be a part of his plan and what he’s doing, you’ll say yes. So I just think when our focus is on eternity, helping others get to heaven, I read this quote one time not long ago and it was like, I wanna be in heaven someday and I want people to say to me, I am here because you weren’t afraid to tell me about Jesus. That’s my goal. Yeah. Powerful. Another thing that I love in this book talks about comparison. And this quote says, stop expecting to have a testimony with no test. You only get a testimony by going through testing. That’s.
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a hard pill to swallow, but it is true. You gotta go through some testing, some hard times.
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The goal of the chapter is to stop the comparison game for your sanity, mindset, and overall well -being.
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And that’s a hard thing to do because in today’s world with social media and stuff, it can feel like all it is is a comparison game. You know, they’ve got this, they go on, man, they go on these trips, or they got these cars, or this house, or you know, whatever. And comparison is, can be the thief of joy. The thief of joy, that’s what I was gonna say. They can, but when you live your life with an eternity mindset, or if you’re a Christian following Christ.
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It doesn’t take away like for me. It doesn’t take away my competitive spirit and my drive to To be the best that I can be for our family or grow our Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business the best we can but it I don’t sit there and look at other people with animosity or Or feel bad for myself because I’m not where they are it’s like you you don’t have those those feelings, you know, you’re happy with where you’re at and what you’ve done and Happily moving forward.
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Yeah, that’s that kind of segues into this next topic I wrote about in this chapter and the segment is called the underdog and it says the attitude of a champion work like the underdog The reason I wrote this is because like whatever you do in your life You do not have to be the best at it. I put I know I’m not the best at my job I’m not the smartest not the most skilled Not a lot of things, but I will outwork most
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work ethic is what sets apart the mediocre from the excellent. The thing about being the underdog is that you always have to keep fighting. You never get to stop. Like you have the work ethics there. That is the X factor.
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Yeah. And having a kind of an underdog mindset, if you will, is a powerful thing too, you know. And I look at it as like there’s always somebody better no matter what area of life you’re.
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We teach our kids that too.
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There’s always focused on being the best and like it’s an unhealthy way. I mean, you’re never going to get there, you know, and that’s a, I don’t know. I don’t look at it that away.
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So, cause that could be, that’s a slippery slope and an unhealthy.
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And if you’re, if it’s Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business, let’s say, and you just ha you’re just committed to being the best and
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it’s an unhealthy way and you’re not focused on your family and your kids.
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Yeah, it’s like, but why, why?
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You’re gonna, you know, we’ve seen it happen a lot, you know, those folks will lose their family, their kids, their marriages, all the things, and they’ll be in the number one spot, but they lost everything. And it’s like, well, what, what is the point of that?
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Yeah, we talk about that a lot. It’s like, our marriage is our top priority. Our family is our top priority. So there’s a Bible verse that’s like, you may gain the whole world, but lose your soul.
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So what does it profit you?
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So it’s like, for us, like, well, if we, you know, gain the world, like, maybe you do work your tail off to get to number one, whatever that is, but you lose your marriage and your family in the meantime.
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What was the point of that?
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Yeah, you missed the whole purpose.
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That is not the goal Yes, you talked to your mentor this week and he told you, you know something along the lines of they are at the point where They’re having grandchildren. Yeah, I think they’re having their fifth maybe now I think so and he and they’ve been married for how long I Don’t remember. What did I say 30 years 30 plus years and he told you Bronson You won’t get to experience this like if you give up too early Basically, yeah on marriage basically. Yeah, you have to stick with that Yes, if you want to have this yeah, this is great.
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Oh, yeah, they’re talking about buying a vacation, you know for their kids and grandkids and all going to the beach together and
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how exciting that is and how their grandkids are looking forward to it and them as grandparents get to bless their family with that vacation and when your family unit is all together the grandparents are still married all the parents you know the kids they’re all married and then the grandkids you know when that family unit is still all together and doing stuff like that man that’s got to be just such a special thing and that’s what that’s our goal yeah so we look forward to and so if anything is getting in the way of that it’s got to go yeah it’s definitely not normal to have your priorities in line but who wants normal anyway let’s keep our priorities in line so the underdog I always tell our kids hey I’d rather be the underdog any day okay cuz like we said when you’re the number one ranked seed the targets on your back I’d rather be the underdog and having to fight my way up so under there’s nothing wrong being the underdog
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Another thing that I wanted to touch on was this quote that says we may impress people with our strengths But we connect with them through our weaknesses. That’s pastor Craig Groschel So I love that because I think so much of the time we want to appear to have it all together to You know to be polished and and you need to have things together I’m not saying your life your life cannot be a mess, but I do think it’s important to be authentic and Let your guard down and and show people Maybe that you don’t you can’t do it all without God’s strength It’s God working through you to make these things possible giving him the glory
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And we pray that with our kids all the time. Like, may you get the glory for this, not us. And I think that’s so important. The next one is being consumed by what people think of you is the fastest way to forget what God thinks of you. It’s also, Pastor Craig Gershel, so important, like what God thinks about us is the most important. And knowing who you are.
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You laugh at me sometimes because for the most part, I don’t give a rip what people think about me.
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It’s embarrassing sometimes, honestly.
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And you’re like, oh my gosh, you do not care about whatever. I’m like, I don’t care at all.
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Sometimes I’m like, babe, look at what you’re wearing.
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Well, it might be what I’m wearing. It might be what I say.
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Oh, that’s for sure. You guys have experienced that with this podcast. Sometimes I’m like, oh boy, unpopular opinion.
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But it is, I don’t waste my mental energy on trying to worry about what other people think.
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too much. I don’t set out to be you know some certain way like I just want to I don’t know it’d be completely rogue or anything but I just I like to keep it real tell it like it is you know most people are too scared to say things that are right and I’m just not most of the time.
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That is very true. Yeah so that’s very true and I definitely have more of a tendency to care what people think because you being an Enneagram 8 you are a challenger literally. Yeah. Enneagram 3 me I’m an achiever so I like people to like me so sometimes like being the way you are is a gift because you don’t you you do care but not a let me know that’s not your number one priority.
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I want people to like me but they don’t like me then I don’t care.
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And sometimes you have to tell me that like babe it’s okay like not everybody’s gonna like you.
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No not everybody’s gonna like you not gonna like me either.
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And I’m at peace with that. Some people just aren’t at peace with that.
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And it’s like. I heard a podcast recently that said 10 % of people are never gonna like you no matter what. If you can let go of that, you’ll be happier.
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You just got to. Otherwise it just drives you crazy. Yeah.
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This says, we love others best when we love God most. Kyle Idleman. Love that. I just think that’s when you love God most and he’s your top priority, you can love others better. Okay, you’re gonna love this one because you love this story also. Okay, so this is titled Winners Focus on Winning. This is regarding the Summer Olympics of 2016 when Michael Phelps won the gold medal in swimming over and over again. You guys might remember this. I remember watching this race live. I know you do too. He won against this South African swimmer. Nobody remembers his name.
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this guy seemed to be fully determined to psych Michael out if you remember this this guy I mean it was weird you guys you could find this on YouTube he was what was he doing I don’t remember but he was looking at Michael Phelps intently growl he was no Michael Phelps was growling at him yes you would watch Michael Phelps and it was like he was seeing this guy but he was kind of like growling because I think he was just fired up but this guy was taunting him most of the time Phelps just had this stone mean look on his face and while the other guy was I don’t know warming up in front of him being silly taunting him and you could tell it was it was making him
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Yes, that’s what I mean. So instead of focusing on his own warmup routine, this South African guy was very visibly trying to get into Michael’s head. He was shadow boxing in the corner, doing strange things to make his appearance known, basically trying to distract Michael Phelps.
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Yeah.
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You can look it up on YouTube. You can find it.
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That’s great, you can watch it.
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Well, this guy was so focused on distracting Michael and making him lose the race that he forfeited the opportunity to focus on his own race. When it came time, Michael showed his true colors, kept his head forward, and won the race easily. This opponent was so focused on distracting him, he didn’t even place, okay? So we found this meme during that time, and Michael has his head straight forward. He’s looking at the finish line. The opponent is looking over at Michael, like he’s looking at him.
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And it says winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners. You remember that?
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Yeah, I actually have that. I had a poster made of that, found a poster, like a big one, like a three foot by two foot size poster and I got it hanging in my office.
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Yeah, this says you will notice that some people are so much more focused on seeing others fail that they don’t spend time working on their own success. Don’t fall into this trap of comparison, doubt and blindness. When you’re blind to your own potential, you focus solely on other successes and that leads to bitterness. So instead of watching others highlight reels, focus on your own mission. Focus on what’s placed before you. Worry about your own vision and move forward knowing that winners focus on winning.
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Yeah, because in our society today, you can get distracted with all sorts of stuff and sometimes I might have a reputation in my industry of, I don’t know.
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Some people might think I’m a jerk or a standoffish or whatever. And it’s not that I am, I just don’t talk to those people. And every day when I go to work, I’m focusing on my Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business and my employees, my goals, and just get stuff done. I don’t talk around the water cooler, so to speak, you know, and spend my time talking amongst other people in the industry. And I just focus on what we’re trying to do, you know. It’s not that I don’t like those folks, I just don’t have time for that stuff.
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And so I would encourage you to, whatever your goals are or whatever, just focus on you. And I don’t worry about what they’re doing, if some of them are beating me or whatever, that’s fine. I’m working on trying to be the best I can be.
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and not get caught up in any drama or gossip or what’s going on, I don’t have any idea.
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Yeah, stay in your own lane. I think social media can be such a powerful and wonderful tool, especially for Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business. It’s a free billboard, is what I teach my agents, and if you use it correctly, it can be wonderful, but it can be bad in that it leads to this comparison game, because you can constantly see others highlight reels, because we don’t post all the bad times, we post the good things. So just, yeah, run your race. Focus on what’s ahead of you. You can use other stories to inspire you, or maybe to say, oh, don’t wanna do that, but yeah, stay in your own lane and run the race set before you.
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I want to end with this last quote. It’s by Pastor T .D. Jakes. God doesn’t just use the destination, but the journey to train you how to hear His voice.
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Yeah, the journey is a lot of times a lot more valuable than the destination.
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It is, and when you look back, like I said, I wrote this in 2020. A lot’s happened in 2020, since 2020. The world in general, think about that. I wrote this kind of during COVID time. Well, a lot’s happened since then. A lot’s happened in our lives, for goodness sakes. We’ve had a few more kids. We have moved several times. We’re building a house. We bought land. My Oklahoma Grassfed Beef business has collapsed and risen from the ashes. Like, we have changed a lot.
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Yeah.
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And I often say like, whoo, some of those hard times, you could not pay, literally, you could not pay me a million dollars to go back and do that, relive that. I don’t want to relive that. But I’m so darn thankful for the journey.
[00:29:29.800]
Yeah, the journey teaches you the lessons and equips you and You know prepares you for future journeys, you know Yeah, there’s a saying that’s like never waste.
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I can’t remember the word, but it’s like never waste a trial kind of thing Yeah, so it’s like when you go through a hard time Don’t waste it and just want to get past it learn from it Grow through it allow God to teach you the lesson and you’ll come out on the other side Stronger one of my favorite Bible stories is about the three men who are thrown in the fire and that’s in the book of Daniel and Jesus was with them in the fire and the king said I see a fourth man in there and he looks like the son of God, you know before they got thrown in they said God’s gonna protect us But even if he does not we’re still trusting in him We’re not doing what you want to do King So throw us in the fire if you want. Well, they come out of the fire and they didn’t even smell like smoke
[00:30:28.100]
And at that point, all the people, even the king, was like, we’re worshiping your God. We, no one else could do that. That is not human strength. Like Jesus was with you in the fire. And that’s how we should be. Use the trials, know that God will be with you. He will bring you out better on the other side. And even if he does not, God wins in the end, which means you win in the end. Amen to that. Fired up.
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Preach it.
[00:30:59.300]
Fired up. Okay, well, that kind of wraps up our time. This book, overrated, it’s available on Amazon. If you want to purchase your own copy, I think it will be powerful for you.
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There will be.
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So keep growing, keep getting better, keep loving the Lord with all your heart, and we’ll see you next time.
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Till next time.