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Welcome back to another episode of Y ‘all Are Crazy. We are excited this week because we are going to do an unpopular opinion episode.
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I love unpopular opinions.
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This could be scary.
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It could be, but I love that kind of stuff.
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You do.
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The one against the grain is just what I love to do.
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If you guys know the Enneagram, remember my husband’s an Enneagram eight, which means he loves Oklahoma Grassfed Beef justice.
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I do love justice. I love right and wrong.
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Black and white.
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Black and white.
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If some most people don’t want to do it.
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I love to go do it So yeah, and we both are very much like we do not have to do what the world does. We are just fine like Marching to the beat of our own drum and like I think thankfully we’re both like that which I think helps us a lot Yeah, but some of these topics we’re gonna talk about are definitely unpopular opinions These are basically things that we don’t let our kids do That is normal considered normal for the oklahoma grassfed beef world This is gonna be fun.
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It’s gonna be good.
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Okay, so we wrote down some things that we thought We would share and so these are things we don’t let our kids do that. The world considers normal. Are you ready for this? Yeah Number one, we do not let our kids have or play video games
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unpopular opinion so and the reasoning for that well there’s a lot of reasons for that there’s a lot I mean growing up I played video games I played a lot of video games in college I know what they’re like you know and they are very addicting and they waste a whole lot of time they are you know not conducive to building your brain and thinking power truth it just makes you check out in life right right and so and then a lot of them are just like you know violent video games I mean I love playing those too they’re you know shooting everybody and stuff like that and it’s like let’s
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Not really good.
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No, as a mom, I’ve just heard too much and seen too much data about when you’re letting your young sons play shooting games every day, they become immune to that. And when you’ve seen somebody on a video game just get shot over and over and over and come back to life, and it’s like, they just get dull to that and dull to human life and what it means. I don’t like that at all. I just think, like you said, it’s just such a checkout.
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It is, so we’re if we’ve never allowed our kids to have a video game, I don’t think that we ever really will.
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We had a Wii for a little while. Yeah, and they played like Wii tennis and bowling and just like Mario Kart Mario Kart a little bit and don’t get us wrong.
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They loved it Oh, yeah, and then I think the Wii just crashed or something and then we never got another one now We’ve talked about a few times like at Christmas like should we get on this and we could play as a family and But the truth of it is It’s not worth it to us No, because then you you know Those things are so addicting that they just want to go play want to go play and then you can’t get them to do anything Else right or it’s a fight You know or they’re fighting amongst each other or you know a lot of times a video game puts a kid in a bad mood You know you try to tell them to turn it off because it’s time to go eat supper and then now they’re Throwing a fit because they got to turn it off and they’re in the middle of a game or or whatever and I just don’t see the upside in video games, right and I think
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For some parents they look at the upside is as well You know, I don’t have to really be a parent for a while I just go give them a video game and I can go do what I want to do for a few hours and I would just challenge if you’re a parent that does that like Hey, I mean if that’s a if that’s a normal occurrence and sadly it is in a lot of households Like you got to do better as a parent.
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Well, I mean and if you’re a dad like I’m not a dad obviously But it’s like go take your son outside and play catch with the football or the baseball go take him hunting Go for a run together. Yeah as a mom like take your daughter And go have girl time Maybe you have a book that you want to read together with your kids
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Go on a family walk together some of these things. We’re saying you’re probably thinking my kids would think that’s so boring Well a reason they think that’s boring is because they’re consistently stimulated with technology Right and when they’re consistently hey, we’re adults and we’re stimulated by technology and when you’re not constantly getting that It’s like your brain doesn’t know what to do with itself But once you get away from it for a while you’re it’s almost like your brain kind of heals itself So when your kids don’t have that they’re not used to that, right?
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Yeah, and I mean and everything for some folks is in moderation So we make the decision as parents not to do it at all But you know some some families allow it to happen in moderation and hey whatever and if you can moderate that see We have a son not gonna name names who you know, I’m gonna say Yeah, he has a very addictive personality and he has since he was little
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and if he likes something, he will get addicted to it. So when he was maybe three, I would let him play games on my phone sometimes. And we know this happened. He’d be playing games on my phone and you would call me on your way home and you know how it pops up and it’s like green or red, answer or decline. He would, I mean, as soon as that phone rang, decline and all he knew is that red button would make that stop so he could get back to his game.
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And he could push that red button faster than anybody I’ve ever seen.
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Yeah.
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He’d just hang up on me.
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He’d be like, I tried to call you the whole way home and I’m like, well, he was playing a game on my phone. It’s kind of funny, but his personality is very addictive, it just is. And so with him, we used to do a little bit of iPad.
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Like I said, we had that we I’d let them play games on my phone sometimes, but it just became like they Constantly craved it constantly wanted it. And so we just had to go cold turkey Yeah, and I mean sadly a lot of kids are getting raised by their video game consoles or their iPads And you’ll see parents just toss them an iPad or a Nintendo switch or whatever then they just ignore their kid for the next few hours and It’s sad because you know as a parent we want to try to help our kids become the most productive human beings that they can be Accomplish whatever goals they might have in life and you only have whatever 18 years with the kid And you know your formative years are gonna be less than that to really make a big oklahoma grassfed beef impact
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and you gotta teach them the right lessons in life to set them up. If you don’t ever teach them that, you just let them sit around and sit in their room and play games and just to know that every spare moment, you’re not in school, you can play a game. Man, I mean, what are you really teaching your kid? And I think that’s what me and you think through a lot in our decision -making is, what is our goal to teach our kids? You know, our kids read a lot of books. I think they’re usually some of the highest AR point kids in their class because they read all the time. And we teach them how important reading is.
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Well, they see us read and they’re gonna emulate what you do. You know, Mom the other day was like, oh, I wish my kids would read. And I’m like, well, do you read?
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No, well, they’re gonna emulate what they see you do.
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Yeah.
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And that’s a conviction, because sometimes it’s like, well, I don’t want my kids to see me on my phone. Right. I want them to see me reading a book or doing something worthwhile.
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Yeah, yeah, so anyway, video games, nope.
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Yeah, X, you mentioned this, but I’m gonna go ahead and say it. We don’t let our kids have iPads.
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Oh, yeah, iPads, no. I mean, if they have to do homework, because now you have to.
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Well, I have an iPad.
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Yeah, and so we do that.
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If they need to do homework, they get my iPad out of our room. Here’s the big thing. They take it to the kitchen table to do their homework.
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Right.
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They’re not allowed to take it to their bedrooms. We just think like technology in bedrooms is a no, just a no, and it’s gonna be. When they live in our house.
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No, they’re gonna do their homework at the kitchen table where it’s visible and we can see them And so if they need an iPad they can do their homework on it because some things they have to right I’m especially as they get a little bit older But we have never now I will say like if we’ve gone on vacations in the past I have bought them like those Amazon fires Things for like what are those called fire tablets right for like $99 because we’ve gone on some road trips They were like, okay, they need something to keep them busy I don’t even know if I’d do that again, honestly, but you live and learn as a parent, right? So we have done that over the years occasionally like I said when our one that’s addicted to things was younger like
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he would play that iPad at home sometimes. And then we discovered like, this is not good. No, we’re taking it away oklahoma grassfed beef for good.
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Not good, yeah.
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So we don’t do iPads. Our kids do not have iPads. They don’t know a life with iPads. The next thing is we say no to cell phones.
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Yep, very unpopular opinion right now.
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Yeah, so.
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Man, I tell you what, I think the more, if you stop and think about cell phone usage and young kids, it’s a scary, scary thing. And those kids have got the world at their fingertips. They are not mature enough to handle what everything that thing can show them, tell them, teach them. It’s like, man, that’s a scary, scary thing. And I don’t want our kids exposed to that kind of stuff. The world is hard enough.
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to then go take things like that and make it even harder for your kid.
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And the constant communication that kids have with each other in like group chats and the apps they have, that’s scary. Especially if your kids do have a phone, you really need to monitor it because the things kids talk about, like you need to know, you need to know. We’ve just made the choice to not do cell phones at all. I don’t even know when we will do a cell phone, maybe when they start driving.
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We’ll see. Maybe a flip phone.
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I mean, and it might be.
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It might be a flip phone.
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I mean, our kids will not have social media for a long time. Maybe not until they graduate.
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I heard the other day that like kids now will.
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I mean, I’m talking like young kids, 10 -year -olds, stuff like that. They will have cell phones, and they will FaceTime like a boyfriend or a girlfriend in their rooms at home at night. And then they’ll fall asleep with each other. You know, they leave the FaceTime on and put their phone on the pillow. And it’s like, what on earth are we doing, parents? Like, that’s not good. That’s not healthy.
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Yeah, you got to have some boundaries. If your kid has a phone, like you’ve got to have boundaries about their phones in their bedrooms, when they can have access to their phones. You just have to.
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And here’s the other thing we’ve learned, too, is like, kids are creative. Some parents will say, well, we don’t allow text messaging. And it’s like, hmm.
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they’ll go find little games and they’ll download these apps that you think are harmless little games and they got a messaging within that game platform. Yes. And they’re under there communicating with each other and you would never find it if you didn’t know.
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No, Roblox is one. Yeah. And then one of our friends a few years ago, their son was messaging on Pinterest.
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Yeah, looking up creative crafts and different stuff to buy or idea. Nope, there’s a messaging platform in there and man those kids figure that stuff out.
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Yeah.
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You know another sad part thing too is like the
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you know, the suicide rate among kids is really high and it’s climbed a lot over the past several years. And even in our small community, it’s climbed a lot. And it’s sad and I’ve heard some of them have TikTok videos and stuff like that.
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At a very young age.
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It’s just terrible to see like their brains and their maturity is not able to handle all that stuff. And it’s not good to just let your kid turn loose with that. But so we just put a line in the sand and you know, it’s our responsibility to coach and you know, raise our kids and that’s not something that we feel comfortable putting in their lives right now. They’ll have plenty of life left to have all that when they become oklahoma grassfed beef adults.
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Yeah, I think for us, we’re trying to give our kids a great childhood.
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Well, the Bible says to build a strong foundation.
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Yes.
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And raise a kid in a way that he should go.
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Yes.
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And.
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If you’re just giving a kid a video game and an iPad and a cell phone and just kind of ignoring your kid throughout their You know early teen years and stuff like that. You’re not you’re gonna lose them You know You’re gonna lose them and they can have all that stuff and they become adults and they’ve got a good foundation built And they know right from wrong and they know how to handle things They’ll they’ll be ready for more ready for it.
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That’s right So for us we’re just trying to give our kids a great childhood Full of memories of building forts in the woods and getting in the dirt and doing stuff outside and spending time with their family We just we don’t want their childhood to be crowded with video games iPads and technology Like you said, there’s plenty of time for that stuff later Yes I have heard the arguments from some parents which has some validation of you want them to learn these things when they’re at home so that when they leave your house, they’re not just like a whole new world and just like Yesterday, you know, so I do think there is some truth to that
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We’re not there yet. I don’t know. Maybe our binds will change a little bit as our kids get older.
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Yeah. Here’s the other thing too. Like they’re at school, which the schools banned phones.
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Thank goodness, I think I’m seeing great things from them already.
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Yeah, I think that’s a good thing. But they, you know, when they’re around their kids, even at church and stuff like that, like they get exposed to phones, you know? And they’re not gonna be completely in the dark on how to operate one or technology or what it can do, you know?
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Yeah. So. Yeah. That’s right. So we’ll see. We don’t have all the answers, guys. We do not have all the answers. We are learning like you guys are. So another thing, I already touched on this, but we don’t allow any technology in their bedrooms. So we’re building our house right now. And I was thinking about…
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what to put in their rooms. And for our boys, they’re gonna be in like an upstairs bunk room. And I was thinking, should we put built -in desks in their room? I think that’d be cool. They could do their schoolwork up there. And then I thought, I don’t really want them, if they have to do work on the computer or the iPad, to be alone upstairs in their room with those things. Nope, they can just do their schoolwork downstairs at the kitchen table where we’re around, their siblings are around. I just think they’re much less likely to look at things they shouldn’t.
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Oh yeah, or waste a whole bunch of time. Who knows what?
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Yeah, if you guys haven’t noticed, we do not believe in wasting time. Like we just think that life is meant to be productive and there’s nothing wrong with chilling, but you can also chill intentionally. Is that weird to say?
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No, but it’s true.
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You know if your kid goes to do his homework, and he’s in his room from 6 p .m.. To 9 p .m.. And you’re like it didn’t take him three hours to do homework He was on YouTube or playing a game or chatting with friends.
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Who knows what it’s like Well, you just gave up a whole evening of Raising your kid yeah, and the thing is like YouTube, okay, YouTube’s a hot topic we Have gone through spurts like once again. We have one TV Like I’ve said in a previous podcast, and it’s in the living room We’ve gone through spurts where we have deleted YouTube entirely because it can waste time. There is no doubt about that, but It is useful sometimes too our boys love to watch wrestling videos, and so they can look up Oh OSU wrestling like we want to watch this wrestler do this and it’s like
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But if they watch it, everybody has to watch it with them. They like to watch like Christian music videos and Forrest Frank and Colton Dixon, but everybody’s in there to watch it and listen to. So YouTube doesn’t have to be bad, you just need to put limits on it.
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And again though, we’re doing it in the living room, they’re not in private in their bedrooms watching who knows what.
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Here’s the thing, you might be saying, my kids would throw a fit if we went down to one TV, or we said no iPads in your room. Well, you know what? They probably will throw a fit for a while. They’re probably not gonna like it. But you know what? You just have to push past that for a bit and then oklahoma grassfed beef will become normal. Yeah.
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And if you feel convicted to do that as a parent, you gotta have a backbone and do it.
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You are the parent.
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You’re the parent and I think a lot of times people say well, you know It’s not nice or I don’t know what but it’s like a lot of parents have lost their backbone in today’s world to raise their kids Yeah, and they just let the world influence how they should raise them Well, I’m not gonna do that because they’re friends.
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Yeah, they get to you know, and I would just tell you Whatever your convictions are they might not be ours, but you need to have some and have some intentionality around raising your kids Because if you don’t somebody else will Yeah, I think it’s so true and I think it’s important to remember that God has called you to be their Parent and not their friend, you know Our daughter’s almost 13 and like we’re getting to the point where we enjoy being with each other We can talk about things and I want her to feel like she can talk to me
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But I can’t be her BFF, right? I have to be her mom, right? Now my goal is for her to grow up to want to be my friend Yes, I’ll always be her mom, of course, but I want her when she’s grown to be like I want to hang out with my mom. I want to talk to my mom I’m like that with my mom now, but when I was growing up, sometimes I didn’t like my mom Because she had rules for me and she disciplined me and my dad disciplined me and you know Like your parents are your parents and God called them to be your parents not your BFF. Yeah, it’s a lot truer than that Yeah, so the next unpopular opinion that we do that I think is this one’s very unpopular We say no to kids birthday parties. We talked about this on one episode a little bit But our kids get invited to a lot of birthday parties because we have a lot of kids
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lot of kids so if you’ve invited our kid to a birthday party and they didn’t come sorry don’t be offended don’t be offended we still love you but they’re just not coming not and I will say there are exceptions sure some of our kids have like best friends or really close friends and if it’s a birthday party that’s like local convenient we can do it we will let them do it but we just basically we don’t let birthday parties control our schedule man when we first had a kids like when we had our first two it was like we were getting invited from you know their whole kindergarten classroom little Johnny little Susie all of a sudden you got all these birthday parties and that’s like I can’t spend every Saturday going to some kids birthday party we barely even know you know I mean I love the kid great I mean glad he’s had a birthday party but
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You know, I think that’s unpopular thing is people feel obligated that they need to go every time they get an invite. And with us having seven kids now, there’s no way in the world we could do all the birthday parties, there’s no way.
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Yeah, so our kids like they have a couple friends each that they’re good friends with. And if it works with our schedule, we will do the birthday party, we’ll let them go. But I would say the answer is usually no.
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Yeah, now if you got nothing else to do and you wanna go, that’s fine. And we do that on occasion, like you said, but as a rule, you know, we’re not. Yeah. Yeah.
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The next thing also controversial and popular is no sleepovers.
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Yeah, no sleepovers. So, I mean, I did sleepovers as a kid, but I don’t know in today’s world, it’s just, you just can’t.
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There’s just so many Trust issues in today’s world. I think sadly Yeah, it is.
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It’s hard and it’s hard to have your kids understand why you can’t do sleepovers and Most of the sleepovers your kids will go to they’ll be totally fine. Oh, yeah But sadly some of them they would not be and I’ve heard such sad stories You know when I was a kid my parents were basically like if any of your friends want to come to our house they’re welcome and I had a lot of friends come to sleepovers at my house and we had campouts in the backyard and those are some really great memories and But my parents also some friends would ask me to sleepover and they were just like no
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It’s a no and I’m like that would get mad sometimes cuz I’m like well, you don’t understand. They’re good I don’t know why I can’t go to their house and now as a mom I’m like, well, thank the Lord my parents did not let me have sleepovers over there and some they may not let me have sleepovers In elementary, but once I got into high school, like I was driving they were like, yeah You can stay at her house because I’m old enough to like Understand things have discretion.
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Yeah, but even that in today’s world can be dangerous A lot of you know what we’ve learned sometimes people aren’t who you think they are and that’s a scary thing, you know well, what goes on behind closed doors may not be what you see in person and The way you’re raising your kids may not be the same way that other people choose to raise their kids Yeah, and then it’s tough to you know with us again. We’re having seven kids. You’re gonna have You know, they might be like well wide bow and get to go sleep over at that guy’s house And I can’t go to my friends and it’s like, you know
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that friend might not have the greatest parents in the world or home life and your kid doesn’t think about that, doesn’t understand that. And the other one that the other kid went to is somebody you know and you trust and then you’re just creating fights in the household. And it’s just like, I got to thinking too, what’s really the point of the sleepover? Cause a lot of times they go over there and it’s evening anyway and they’re gonna be in bed in two or three hours unless they stay up all night. It’s like, they can just hang out there in the day and then go back tomorrow if we want to they don’t need to sleep over there.
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Yeah, so that’s where we are in sleepovers currently. Another thing that we do that’s unpopular is we have never had pop in our house. Oh yeah, I didn’t think about that. You realize this?
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No.
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So we have never had pop in our house and so have our kids ever had a pop? Sure, pop, we call it pop. I think some people call it soda, coke, whatever.
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We have never kept it in our house now recently We’ve started keeping Canada dry those small little cans, which I love a Canada dry Yeah, but they’re for me and you little ginger ale. Yes some ginger ale I crave that sometimes and then we’ve discovered poppy which is like a pop Yeah, but healthier and but it’s for us. It’s not for our kids to just come grab So we’ve never kept like dr. Pepper coke Sprite do our kids enjoy those occasionally if we’re out and about Sure. Now I will say when we go to a restaurant and this ticks our kids off sometimes They always have to order water, yeah always and there was Sprite. No.
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Yes.
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Well, here’s the thing We have seven kids. So if everybody got what they wanted Yeah, it would cost us like $50 every time we eat out for pop. Yeah, just not
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Not gonna happen now occasionally if we go somewhere and the kids meals come with a drink We’re like you can have a sprite or an iced tea Yeah, and so they get to choose and they think that’s amazing They love that or if we go to Chick -fil -a like that comes with the kids meal so they can have that But if we go to a set down restaurant most of the time the kids meals do not come with the drinks So it’s water.
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Yeah, it’s true. And I think I just came up with one other kind of unpopular thing that Most kids don’t do today is Chores like hard work chores or whatever you might say like as an example Bowen and Baker do. We say no to laziness Yeah, and you know these past couple years Bowen and Baker have done yard work.
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Mm -hmm. You know I have loved it.
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One’s on the zero turn lawnmower and then one’s running a weed eater and they’re 11 and 9 Yeah, and they did it some last year, too
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And they’ve always had to take the trash out.
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Yes.
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And then take the trash to the curb on the trash days. And I mean, even when they were like five years old, they started trying to drag the trash can.
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We’ve always had a long driveway.
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And they had to drag it forever.
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We’ve always had long driveways. We still do. And our next house, we’re going to have a really long driveway.
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Well, and I remember Bowen and Baker being younger and they’re dragging the trash can. I’d walk alongside them, and it’d be heavy for them. They’re trying to drag it. But you’re teaching them. And humans are wired to work and earn and feel good about our work.
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That kind of stuff and if you just shield your kids from all that and you don’t let them do any of the yard work You don’t let them take trash out. You don’t let them help you with projects around the house and stuff That’s hard or whatever.
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I think you’re you know, you can be robbing your kids of some valuable experience That’ll be good for them for sure and for girls, you know for Briley I’ve really started teaching her how to do dishes a lot She will unload and load the dishwasher for me pretty much every day Which has been wonderful She knows how to do laundry She knows how to like, you know, once a month I’m like, okay It’s deep clean Saturday and she knows how to help me deep clean. I’ve recently started teaching her how to cook I got to hop on that train a little more. She and I can mix it We are a really good cookie team. She knows how to bring me every ingredient and then I whip them up
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She knows how to get them in the oven, get them out, but I’m really gonna start teaching her more about how to cook, how to cook a full meal. The other day we made spaghetti and it was literally like, this is how you boil noodles. And this is how you know the noodles are done. And it’s very basic, but they gotta start somewhere.
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They gotta learn. This summer, I mean, our boys worked with our ranch manager, John, all summer.
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They did.
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I mean, when they weren’t in wrestling camp or something else, like they worked.
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They weren’t in wrestling camp or VBS.
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Yeah, we taught them, hey, when you go to work, they wore their boots, their jeans. They had their little knives on their belts, or their pliers. So cute. And they would help move animals. They’d help set up fence. They helped paint fence. They weeded, they mowed. They mowed out here at the ranch.
[00:28:01.700]
And, you know, I think that is just so valuable for them where a lot of their peers, they were like, Dad, we don’t, I mean, none of our friends are working. They just, I was like, well, what do they do? And they’re like, well, I don’t mean, I guess they sit at home and they’re playing video games. They said that a bunch.
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Video games or TikTok.
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Or TikTok, and then, you know, and it’s like, well, you know, it’s sad, but they’re not learning anything. You are.
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Well, we have a lot of fence to paint on the ranch and I’ve had friends tell me, I drove by and saw your kids painting fence. Man, I wish my kids could paint fence. Like, they’re just laying around and it’s like, well, bring them on out. We got a lot of fence to paint. We have lots of opportunities for kids to work. Laziness is a pet peeve of mine and I don’t like laziness. It’s just not in my DNA. I have to make myself sit down and rest and I’ve gotten better.
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I mean, even in the Bible and Proverbs, it says you’re lazy hands, you know, a little folding of the hands, a little too much sleep.
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Poverty will sneak up on you like a thief in the night and it talks a lot about that so you got to teach your kids, you know hard work and You know give them things to do and purpose and stuff like that and it’s it’s good and you’ll watch them and they’ll grow and they’ll be so proud of what they’re doing and Anyway, that’s a good thing.
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Yeah last one. I’m gonna say this in two part We say no to skipping church on Sundays. We’ve talked about that before Church is not optional. It’s necessary Yeah, and then the next thing is we say no to Different bedtimes Everybody all the kids go to bed at the same time. I think so many Parents I hear that are like, well, I just go to bed and whenever I don’t even know when my kids went to bed I Like to go I like to put our kids to bed and I’ve always done this I go check on everybody before I go to bed and make sure they’re all asleep, right?
[00:29:56.100]
Yeah, you know again, especially if you’ve got your kid with a cell phone and stuff like that. You just go to bed There’s no telling what your kids doing in there. Yeah, it’s a really good time for us This is just what we do, but we read the Bible to the kids. We say prayers Everybody goes and lays down They all read their devotional in their beds even little branch like he can’t read his three, but he sees his brothers Reading their devotionals in their bed. So he just pulls out one of his books He just opens it up and he’s just looking at the pictures Yeah, and I will I peek in there and he’s just looking at his book because everybody else is doing that and you know what? It’s not like our kids are obedient little angels Like one of our sons is like I don’t want to read my devotional tonight and I’m like, well you are Yeah, you’re reading it tonight and he’s just like he’ll be sneaky sometimes and he’s like I already finished it I’m like, no you didn’t pull it out
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So, you know, you do you have to coach them and you have to push them and you have to consistently Be intentional.
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It doesn’t just go well and happen. No, there’s no way they don’t wake up and want to go to work in the summer You know, they don’t uh want to read their devotionals at night. They don’t want to go to bed Because they’re humans. Yeah, I mean that’s just the way we’re all wired and you know as a parent you’ve got to parent them That’s right. Yeah, so we hope this was helpful and we hope that it helps you like Be intentional and learn it’s okay to say no to things Yeah, don’t be scared to go against the grain and what society does if you don’t believe in something Stand your ground and don’t do it and um, don’t care what other people think
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Yeah, yeah y ‘all are crazy live that this is our kind of our life motto y ‘all are crazy It’s okay to be a little bit crazy.
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That’s right, and I don’t really think it’s crazy. I think it should be normal, but whatever We’ll see you guys next time